I Really Miss You....

Days have passed and I cant lie, I miss Frank, allot. I spent 2 weeks in a drunken oblivion, not being Franco, not wanting to feel anything. I decided the other day to buck up and try to move on. I knew it wouldn't be a long affair, for lack of a better word, but I fell for him and still care for him allot. Wish I could turn back the hands of time. I think of just laying in bed, my arm around him. him placing my hand on his belly, rubbing him. Hearing him tell me how much he likes that. Last night I just kept thinking of someone else in my place at his home. Sitting there with him, talking, drinking, playing, laughing - It made me sad and brought me to tears a few times. Ive done enough harm in his eyes to not miss me I'm sure. I sent him a confessional email on Sunday telling him allot of what I said or did was booze induced and have come to realize my mistakes. He wrote back and said, "Thanks for your honesty" - This morning being Valentine's Day, I wrote a one liner. I put, Happy Valentines Day in the subject line and in the body, just, "Just wanted to say..." and left it at that. I'm not sure I will get any kind of response. I'm not into VD day, but would have been fun to hang around him on VD day, if only for the fun of it all. The thought of meeting someone is so off for me. I, like I said, miss him so much and hope one day we can reconnect, this I told him in the email on Sunday. I will try and carry on one day at a time. Hope I can be distracted enough to not break down....I really miss you -