Hmmm..

Well today was interesting -
Work was hell, so a guy who wants to "get" with me had a day off and we messaged each other all day - At the end of my day, I met up with him for a drink or two. Now I now he likes me but sadly, hes not my type, causing nothing to happen, plus I have the other fella in mind. Fast forward to home time after drinks, I tell this fella, that I bought some frozen snacks for the next time we get together, so if we drink, we wont drink on empty stomachs, in email. I get a response and he tells me how hes had a few rough days and needs an early night, I get it, I need them too. So my response to him was short and sweet, I just tell him to let me know the next time he wants to see me, to let me know - I get back, "I wanna see you now, but need an early night" - that works for me, I just hate that I feel as if I miss him, and want to see me. I believe he wants to see me, so make more of an effort?? Stupidly I haven't been making any plans in hopes of seeing him. Ive come to realize its never after work, hence the drinks tonight. Usually by he the time he has emailed me, I'm so tired and out of it, that I hope that he doesn't want to come over lol..but have said yes to his request to come over, the last one, a failed attempt. Regardless, its not been a week since Ive seen him and think by weeks end, the weekend, I will see him. I just don't want to be "this guy" I know, I hang with. His life is much different and I don't know what he wants with me? He wants to wake up with me, he says he wants to be with me now but cant make it...? I'm so lost. I need more get togethers to see how this will go. Last years fling, I heard similar things? That's one of the weird things...one of the things that makes me take a step back. I'm horribly scarred by that scenario and am doing my best to move on...I don't need someone who has certain things that are similar - lol - Anyways, in short, I really dont know and need more time to figure this out, what I want to invest in this, eventually get the nerve to ask what he really wants. Thins I know of him already are enough to make me never contact him again. What I find sad about myself is, that I like the way he looks and is, so that sorta puts the negatives sorta, on the back burner. I dont want to get involved any deeper for fear of being or feeling hurt. I give him short answers when I cant see him or if he hasnt been able to keep plans, I shouldnt do that. I need to let him know that, if it happens, it happens, until I see how he feels. Im glad Ive met him, thats for sure. I want to know what can come of something like this?
Is this worth is? Stay tuned....
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