What's To Come?

So last night Toronto was awaiting a few tornadoes and heavy winded storms.
Chatting with my fella, we were discussing camping and what not. He asked if I wanted him to come watch the storm with him, and I said, sure.
He entered the apt with his bag and went on to kiss me, 3 times on the lips, was sweet. Then he said he wanted to shower to which I said, Go right ahead...and he did. When all done, one of his favorite songs was playing...he grabbed me and hugged me, slow danced for a bit, in a fun manner, was cute. We went out on the balcony with a glass of wine and to see the storm approaching. At one point, and luckily before the heavier rains came, we went to grab some more wine. He told me to go, I told him to go. He told me how he doesn't really like walking up Church St. I said we would go together. He doesn't like being ogled and what not. I told him you cant avoid it around here ha ha. We went and came back, grabbed a seat on the balcony, and watch the storm. We both were in awe watching the crackling skies. When I would go in and out of the apt, to grab wine or cigarettes, he would try and cop a feel at me, grab me or fondle me. Each time I made it seem as if he wasn't to touch, although I do want that. We have had some sexual contact, a few times. We make out sometimes, but Ive learned, trying to hold back, being the one to make the move to kiss as I mentioned earlier. The night ended with us on the sofa, watching and talking...eventually off to bed. This morning we both awake earlier than our alarms, we snuggle a bit, he grabs the sheet and covers and tucks us in both for the next half hour so of sleep that we had. We get up, huddle on the sofa, having coffee and chat some more til its time to go. I mentioned in regards to the camping deal, if he wanted to come over tonight, we could look at sites. 98% of the time, he basically invites himself, and I'm good with that. Anyways, he said he couldn't, he was seeing, "The Mistress" as he called her, giggling...
That right there, sorta ruined my day.
We chatted a brief moment more, he threw on his shoes and off he went.
What am I to him? He feels ballsy enough to want to invite himself over. Hang out with me. Be affectionate towards me, comfortable enough to help him self to my shower and food in my fridge. Sleep in my bed, some sexual activity, though most of it seems, me to him if ya know what I mean. So I think this is my plan.
In regards to the cottage, this morning I sent an email to him. He had let a card of an Inn near the area of the campground we are looking at. I looked at the link, was a decent place, not sure what to expect, but Ill step out of my comfort zone. To see what could or may lead ahead. So I said it looked great, that I just want to get out of the city and spend some time with him, I told him to enjoy his evening with his gal pal, and that we would chat Friday. My intention is to leave that as my last email. I tend to think of things and send the odd email, apart from the thread we carry on. I normally would send a good morning email, I wont tomorrow. The latest Ive known him to work is about 7-ish, and would get a response, in and around that time. I wont bother responding should he send an email. I will in the morning. If there is nothing tonight, I think its safe to say, that the mistress and him do what, he and I do when we get a little tipsy, though I'm sure they will go the full 9 yards. I don't care to hear about it, nor is he one to brag. I will ask how it went, in email, maybe throw in a cheeky comment with the obvious, LOL. I will see what later on tonight and tomorrow bring.
He is a fun cute guy and I know, once again, he knows it. He isn't Johnny Depp, but his quirky personality and cute smile, nice eyes, and if u look at the physical, a great body for a man of his age. I know he chats to others, so do I...I don't look primarily for sex, I don't think he does either, he could troll, I don't know and I don't...I will try and find out, subtly, I hope. I feel as if I'm having feelings for him, but all we do is, get together at my place, have a few drink, kid around a bit, talk allot and tell stories. The conversation is good. Why the need to sleep in my bed with me? Take a shower with me? Spend the night in a tent with me? He says these things, but what are they, just words? Am I a one off in a string of "buddies"? These are all the thoughts that went thru my mind today. I felt as if I was on the verge of tears for the most part for the day. I am worth more, once again. I don't know if he is growing to like me more as I him? He couldn't dedicate the time of a full time partner. I need to find out if he could be with one man. I don't know if I can keep this going if he wants to just be "buddies" -
I bought myself a bottle of vodka, to float away this evening, I don't like feeling like that and don't want to any more tonight. I'm probably being sensitive he seems a sweet guy, in so many ways. He tells honest stories of days gone by etc, but purpose to do I serve and to what capacity.
Whats to come??