In Almost Every Way....

Yet once again the drug and booze fueled evening brought on endless rants and calls to Frank on Friday night. Saturday morning I sent an email apologizing for the emails. He wrote back eventually asking if I remembered the voice mail I left. I was going to ramble of the "I drank too much" bit, but thought otherwise. I just wrote back, "no" - He went on to question me if I had taken the Grace Kelly TIFF passes and I said I took them with the DVD. Then he asked about the dinner coupons. I again said yes. He said I was a "funny" guy and he meant in the Indian giver kind of way. He thought I have those things to him to sort of compensate for costs incurred while getting to know me, parking tickets, damaged glasses etc. Asking why I offered to send him money then reneging on my offer etc. I wrote back that if he wasn't irresponsible, he never would have gotten those parking tickets, therefor I have nothing to do with it. I asked if he wanted the extra check I got as I was concerned about him not having steady work. That what I had done for him was cuz I care not because I felt I owed anything to anyone. He wrote back that he thought I was moral and raised properly. I said I was. I was honest to people like my mom and that I was raised good, but felt no need to offer something when I was thinking one thing and him, something else. All this time Ive been a "friend" and I thought otherwise. I thought we were going down a different road yet I was wrong. And those words Friday morning hurt me more than anything in a long time. I went on in one email and said, "Friends - sure" - He went on to tell me that he was going to watch the other Grace Kelly flick. I wrote back and said, "OK" - he wrote back with a few question marks?? I didn't understand. I was thinking maybe he wanted to watch it together? Why the ?? - I wrote, with an LOL - What? You said you were off to watch a flick and I wrote back OK...I didn't understand what he was after? That was the end of our communications for last night. This morning I sent a simple email, asking how the movie was and what I watched. I probably wont hear til later on today but when I do and he mentions whatever - I am going to say, intentionally, "It would have been nicer if I had a nice butt to eat, possible through crotchless fishnets, during intermission or after the flick was over." to see what kind of reaction I get. Probably, "not going to happen" and that is fine, that will set more of a precedent and put me in my place. I am going to use the excuse that he is out of town, at his sisters, like he mentioned he may do. This will buy me a week or so of time to figure out what I tell others about us and make it look like he did something for me to stop a physical relationship. I await his response but not in a good way. Ive lost him as a boyfriend and probably never was. I kept thinking of when we first met and how things were, things we did and it brought tears to my eyes almost every time. He was perfect in almost every way....
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