Let's Hope He Understands & Appreciates...

Well the last 3 nights I spent at Frank's. It was mostly fun, mainly fun. I keep going over with the attitude to have fun. The first night was silly and fun, drinking and laughing. I went over the next night and last night. Waking up next to him every morning was great, I loved it, wrapped around him in the early mornings is awesome to me. He said a few nice things through the nights. One night he told me I was hot, and a funny guy. Him calling me hot, wow. He went through some photos and things of that nature with me last night. 2 mornings, when we sorta awoke, I fondled him, and at one point he stopped me. This morning I took matters into my own hands in regards to self satisfaction and jokingly said, "thanks for your help". Sex is odd between us, but OK with me. I want to do more, but don't press on all that much. There were moments I just stared at him, looking at his face, his feet, hands, chest, arms, listening to him and trying to have decent conversation with him. I recall last night on bit of conversation about me asking, how many guys hes met or guys who've gotten him off, but vaguely. He cooked for me, got me drinks and even held my hand in bed, was nice. Weekends always throw me off as I always think its the best time to get together, hang out - his niece is supposedly over tonight and he is working in the morning. I'm very relaxed in our conversations and always suggesting we be together. There seems to be some wall up, sexually. I can anally gratify him with my tongue and I love how he loves it, but other times hes pulls away and don't know why? Tonight, Friday, I am in for the night and he as I mentioned is with the niece. Not sure what will happen on Saturday but Id love to get with him as we can sleep in or stay up late. I have to try and not get looped early int he day but I'm sure boredom will kick in and Ill at the least smoke up, but its better than being liquor looped. I wish at time he would suggest coming over here. I did find out that the night he found me at O'gradys, he got a $60 tickets for a 15 minute non visit. I felt bad but he has to be responsible and I know he had been drinking before hand. Night before last I grabbed some food, sandwiches, samosas, some salami and crackers. We nibbled late at night and off to bed eventually. Curled up in bed with him Friday morning was so nice, wrapped around him. Ive mentioned things for my birthday, like making me dinner etc so we will see what the next few weeks bring. I'm trying so hard to not get angry, jealous or upset - The other night he got a call from I believe I co worker, and in the conversation, he jokingly said, "Ill fuck you"...I went kinda cold. I jokingly said, "You ll fuck who?" with a giggle, and he came back with that he was straight and they were kidding around. I believe he likes me, I believe he is starting to trust me and slowly going somewhere. I had mentioned if he rec'd the tickets and he had, he had the train tickets the other night. I told him that they were good thru til Dec 2 and that he should take someone who knows the friends he has in Oshawa or Montreal. I would have liked for him to ask me somewhere, for a long weekend but that didn't happen. I'm not sure if he is going to take me to the "Vinyl Cafe" show in a few weeks but I wont ask. Ive mentioned taking advantage of those work, dinner vouchers so we will see if and when he will want to go. He mentioned just before our split in mid October about going away, if I would go with him and I said yes, then that bullshit happened and it was never mentioned again. Ive been trying to plant the seed that I want to go away and lay in the sun, as he had mentioned, hoping he would consider going away but nothing yet. Not sure if he is scared to be or go away with me, alone together on an island, but I would love to have him all to myself for one whole week. I kinda half to lay low, but cant keep from wanting to be with him. When I'm on the sofa and we have these nice chats, I just stare at him as he speaks, he is so awesome to me in so many ways and Ive fessed that up to him. I don't expect anything other than honesty and being treated with respect and that he does. I will await to see what he has to say for this weekend. He got a job that he described as, "not ideal" but it would keep the "wolves at bay", meaning financially - I offered him my check that I was sent from the gov't, telling him that I have steady work and that I would help him keep the wolves at bay. I'm trying to show him I care and want to and would help - Lets hope he appreciates and understands me....x