So Monday rolled around and we communicated via email. I asked if he wanted company and he said yes, but an early night, so I went on over. I hadn't seen him in a week and missed him so. A simple night was had. Off to bed, he slept on the sofa and me in bed. I awoke at 2 to find him on the sofa. I got out of bed and told him to come to bed, but he slept on the sofa cuz of his back, supposedly. In the morning we awoke, both sitting on the sofa as we had morning coffee. We chatted about things in general, light conversation. He looked so hot yesterday morning I couldn't help but look at him constantly. As I left I asked for a hug and I got one. Leaving was strange, something isn't, wasn't right, wasn't fulfilling like the usual. I thought of him all day, I could see his face as it was before I left. I did mention new years to which e said, "we will see, maybe." I saw a pair of panties in the kitchen and questioned whose they were, his of course. When I got to work I sent an email telling him I wanted to see him in that and one other outfit from a photo he sent on a while back. When I got to the pub I emailed again telling him about my day and seeing out idiotic mayor at a press conference I had gone to. He eventually wrote back and asked which outfit I on about. I told him and then he said he hasn't been in the lingerie mood lately but could get into it with me. But at the same time he said that he thought we were aiming for a platonic friendship. I said to him, we hadn't been platonic, up til about 2 weeks back. Then I went to describe in detail the night of my bday saying he may not remember but to me it was hot and would love it again. I said how if you had asked me a year back ab out CD i would have said no way, but there is something with it, with him., Saying maybe cuz I know him and the feelings I have make it more interesting. That I want more with him and ending that with, "I want to see you" - I got no response. I freshened up thinking an invite was on the way..nothing. I went on to call him, twice, no answer and no call back. At about 8 or so I wrote and said, I was gonna smoke up and go chill and nothing was heard again. I was a bit sad last night, I am this morning to. Why didn't he write back, call back or take my call?
Its just so weird how in the beginning he was the one who was saying he wanted to wake up with me and no nothing, be with me and now nothing, hang with me and still again, minimal. I'm sure hes had sex with the mistress, I had minimal with him, but at the same time what has he done with men, whose he met if anyone. I'm hoping he hasn't and will broach that subject soon if we talk about those things. I cant email him today, I CANT. I left those words for him to think about and figure out what it is. I said in my last email, I apologised to him for telling him about my feelings for him if it made him uncomfortable, no response. I have to wait to hear from him, I am no longer in any control. I hope to her from him today but am not holding my breath, I just have to stand my ground and not email him, he needs to want to see me and be with me. The waiting game again. I don't get it, but I await....
x
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