So Thursday night was election night here in the city. I emailed Frank telling him I had voted and that if he wanted company to watch results, Id love to see him. Knowing he was away for the wknd I wanted to see him before he left. He said he would like company but that it would be an early night, I told him, I too work in the AM so it would have to be an early one. He told me he was out of wine, I offered to pick up and go on over. I arrived there, all silly and happy to be in his company again. I gave him the wine and a pack of smokes to thank him for the car ride the other day. We had a fun conversation that night, it was free and easy and nothing to worry about. Eventually off to bed and a good nights sleep. He was in total man wear which was hot. In the morning it was the usual, chat, smoke and coffee. I held his hand a few times and he held back, didn't resist. We were sober so that's always the test. I mean it all even after a few drink, if anything I mean it more being tipsy and all, but I love holding his hand. In the morning I was feeling horny and as he sat on the sofa in his briefs, I played under the comforter, eventually exposing myself. Ive never done that but with him it was erotic. I touched me a few times almost bringing me to the edge, but I stopped. I told him I wanted to get off with him again and he said we would again soon. Hes told me how "sex" these days is dangerous, hence his hesitation. I am all good with how our "sex life" is. To me its more important to be with him than anything else. Its what makes me happiest. He was off for the weekend to Montreal to see a friend. I was a bit offed when I figured that out as it is a long weekend and would have loved to spend a day with him, but we are still new to each other so off to work I went. A hug and a kiss good bye, I emailed him in regards to a front page story of a newspaper and carried on my day. Then in drunken stupidity I emailed and told him to email me when he was back in town, that I missed him already, knowing he was miles away and that I cant wait to see him upon his return. I got an email from him later on last night saying, "I have nice hands and nice feet, but I hope you want to see me for more than that. LOL" - I told him I like Frank Bentley as a person. That I hate leaving him in the mornings and that I have so much fun with him. I do and Thursday night went off without a hitch, I wish it could always be like that with us. He is back on Monday night and I will go see him if its not too late. I loved hugging him before I left. I love him brushing up against me to get a kiss on the neck. I love him, when I get into his apt and he grabs me by the waist to kiss me hello. I know I will get hurt eventually, this Ive expressed to others already, but in the meantime, I am happy with him. Could he want me? Only me? I don't know, I'm still terrified of my feelings but when he seems happy with me, being with me, I am in another world all together and nothing can harm me. I feel almost protected from drama when I am with him. I think he has realised that my flip out a few weeks back was kinda legit or warranted? Why else would he let me back into his life? I'm grateful he wasn't an ass and completely shut me out. I remember the first time he asked me over, I pretty much raced there. I re read emails where he says, "It wont go any further" and then it has, tipsy and sober, it has. So I think he likes me to a certain point. I try to be easy going, fun and silly with him to enjoy our times together and it seems to be working. I will miss him this weekend and cant wait to see him again. Hopefully I don't hear anything threatening that makes my next entry the complete opposite of this one. I did say, "I love you" in regards to silly things, but my fear, my feeling is that, I am falling in love with him...
Ill miss you this weekend and cant wait for you to come home Mr Bently!
x
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