One Day At A Time...Again

What can I say...I like to keep busy these days as to not come home and think of my ex fella. I do miss him I wont lie! I hate what has happened, I hate the restrictions he has put on our friendship, but I do miss what we had. I think he is bitter towards me and don't know why. I sent a rude photo last night, thanks to the influence of pot lol. But sent it in response to a rude one he sent and I wrote, "Tit for tat again" - He wrote, "yea it looks like a tit" - I sent back, "...but that's not what it is." - thinking it would carry on, even if silly - but nothing back. I expect results over the next day or so....we will see if he contacts me. What happened to coffee sometime this week? Its only Wednesday, but come Friday/Saturday, I will mention that I guess he had no time for coffee with me. I don't see it happening especially after the photo comment I made the other day. When I'm kept busy or entertained, I don't think of him. He is very blase with life itself, with people itself. If I meant anything to him, he would miss me. Regardless of what happened, regardless of what I said in that email rant. I will try again to not send anything. I'm not sure what will happen, will I keep my word? Will he try and keep in touch? Like I said earlier, its not that I lost a shag buddy, but a friend, and that's what bothers me. It is going on to 2 weeks that Ive seen him and miss him tremendously and wish he missed me enough. Every morning I look at the clock and know what time he awakes and hope for a hello email - nothing. When I get home, when it hits around 7-8pm, I hope for a hello email but nothing. I know the next will be for results, but then what happens? Std bonding? Std guilt? I don't know, I hate this position I'm in. Such a handsome, intelligent, sexy man - gone. When we exchange emails, I will get more crude. More in the sense of a FWB, if its all I can get then Ill take it. To be naked next to him, with him will be enough. Or will it, is it just a way to spend time with him. I will let him know that I deserve more respect than he has given me. That the tone of his emails lately is kinda harsh and I deserve more respect. Let him know that I am not a nut job, rather I think it is him. Its funny how there are similarities with last years summer fling, kinda scary. I, again don't know and wont hold my breath for anything when it comes to my ex fella. One day at a time...again.
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